Is It Real Love or Fantasy Love?

Here you are, dating and searching for "the one." You are looking for the kind of love you've never experienced before. You are looking for that magical connection that will sweep you off your feet. But do you know the difference between finding "the one" in reality and finding "the one" in fantasy? The actual test of a relationship is whether you and your partner can love each other for who you are.

So when you're out there looking for "the one," make sure your love is genuine and not just a fantasy. Fantasy relationships tend to implode after six months to a year. Real love can last forever.

Here are seven ways to distinguish between fantasy love and genuine love.

Seven wonder ways to tell the difference

See if the words match the actions.

Many people are skilled with words. They always know just the right thing to say, but don't always back up those words with their actions. They'll tell you how romantic they are, but they won't do anything romantic. They'll let you know how much they love affection, but they don't show you any affection. If you want to know if the love you share is real love, see if your partner's actions match their words.

Listen carefully to what is really being said.

To find out if you are living in fantasy-love land, you need to listen carefully to what your partner says -- and how they say it–– when they are talking to other people. How do they speak to their friends and family? Is it consistent with how they talk to you? Or have you created a fantasy personality about them in your mind, when in reality, they are someone very different?

Compare goals.

You can take a good look at your own goals and aspirations as compared to your partner's. While they don't need to be precisely the same, they do need to be in line with each other. Consider your primary life goals, such as whether you want to have children, as well as critical areas like finances, religion, and physical intimacy. You can feel crazy in love with your partner right now, but if you are not aligned on these significant issues, you are in for a rocky road.

Watch for a significant change.

One major red flag that you may be in fantasy love is when your partner changes after you've been in the relationship for a while. Were they romantic all the time at first, then after six months, they stopped making sweet gestures? People can excel at something that is not in their nature for a while, but most individuals struggle to maintain it for a long time. If you cling to the fantasy person you met at the beginning of the relationship, you could miss out on being with someone with whom you can share real love.

Don't be a rescuer.

Are you with someone who looks to you for all their happiness? Is it worth your sanity to rescue someone and make them feel wonderful? Initially, this can be a pleasant feeling, but you can't be someone's everything forever. Real love is being an addition to what someone already has in terms of self-awareness and self-love. When people depend entirely on a partner for their happiness, the relationship is likely to become unhealthy and unhappy. Don't get swept up in the fantasy of rescuing someone. You want genuine love and a genuine, healthy relationship.

Get honest.

One of the hardest things to do when you are in a fantasy love situation is to be honest with yourself. You really want this person to be everything you are imagining them to be. Get honest with yourself and ask yourself some tough questions. Do the things your partner says truly resonate with you, or do you feel like you are compromising and even becoming a different person? You may discover that while your partner is beautiful and amazing in some ways, there are essential things about them that you don't really want.

Could you make sure your needs are being met?

This is by far the most crucial test of whether you are in fantasy love or real love. When you are in absolute love with someone, you love them the way they need to be loved. Real love is when you can look your partner in the eyes and say, "I need you to do this for me," and they look back at you and say, "No problem, babe. I love you. I'll gladly do that for you." If you're constantly battling because your needs aren't getting met, it means that your partner is not loving you the way you need to be loved. If that is happening, then you will never be fulfilled in that relationship.