Weeding Out the Neediness Factor

A recent publication shares a story about transforming your neediness. Clingy girlfriend back into the fabulous chick she seemingly was when you first met her.

Before you get all offended, let us tell you two things:

a) The author was a woman. b) We agree with her.

We believe that individuals in need, such as those struggling with clinginess, could benefit from some guidance on how to overcome their clinginess and regain their confidence.

Here are five steps to reduce the neediness factor in your relationship:

Have your own life.

Remember what you were like when you and your boyfriend first met? You had friends. Hobbies. And lots of things that were not centered around him. Could you make sure you're still keeping up with those things? Doing so will make you happier, more interesting to him, and less likely to become overly fixated on your relationship.

Schedule things out.

Having a weekly date night, a monthly day trip. Or regular evening text sessions on both your schedules can give you the sense that things are less amorphous and provide both of you with something to look forward to.

Tame those "what if?" demons.

Stop thinking "what if?" every time you're apart (What if he sees a prettier girl while he's at the bar with his friends? What if he's not calling because he's on the phone with his ex? What if, what if, what if). Whenever your anxious thoughts start to spin out of control, remember that "what if?" is a lot less critical than WHAT IS. And then remind yourself of the reality of your relationship.

Remember that you're great.

You're beautiful. You're smart. You're fun. If you weren't, then he wouldn't have started dating you in the first place. Remind yourself of just how amazing you are. Regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not, it will make you feel more secure and centered.

Tell him outright.

If the reason you're acting clingy is that he's treating you like you don't matter, then it's time for a talk. It's possible that he doesn't realize how he's making you feel. It may be that he's not into you anymore. Could you tell him, and if he doesn't work on making things better, get out?

Guys, do your part too.

The article's premise is that a woman becomes needy only when a man stops making her feel secure in the relationship, and that there are five straightforward things a man can do to bring his girlfriend's sense of security back:

a.Do what you say you will do.

Call when you say you'll call. Make her believe you're a loyal boyfriend with a sense of follow-through.

b. Randomly clue her in.

Please share what you're thinking when she's not probing you for information. Tell her about your thoughts and dreams. Make her believe she's worthy of your secret thoughts.

c. Not out of sight, out of mind.

Give her a call or drop her a text when you're out with your friends, to let her know that she's on your mind even when you're apart.

d. Please make sure to maintain contact when out together.

Catch her eye from across the room when you're out together at a party. Could you let her know that you know you have the best date in the room?

e. Prove you're observant.

Could you please let her know that you've noticed her appearance? Give her surprise compliments. And make it clear you appreciate her.