Do research to avoid future breakup dilemma in your relationship

Being in a relationship and living together is a significant commitment; if it doesn't work out, you can't simply pick up and leave. You have to hire movers! And that's not even taking into account the emotions involved in a breakup or split where you've been living together. Could you do some homework before committing to cohabiting?

Dating tips for women to focus on before an inclination toward committed relationships.

• Meet his family. More than once. Do your research. Any mental illness? Alcoholism? Is there anything else you'd like to know? Ask now or forever hold your peace.

• Meet his friends. Has anyone ever been arrested? Use your instincts. Are you seeing any yellow flags? If you are, explore them before you make a move with a truck.

•Figure out who's going to clean what -- and if you can afford a housekeeper, how often will she come? (A housekeeper can be the best marital aid next to separate bathrooms.)

Keep the kids in mind. If children are involved, sync up your custody schedules as best you can. Meet the ex. If your mate has gone through a divorce, make sure there are no restraining orders or other psycho secrets in the closet.

Figure out who's going to pay for what. Get down the crucial basics before the move. Who will write the checks each month? Would you like a shared checking account?

• Determine who's going to be responsible for what. Performing tasks such as making meals, taking out the trash, walking the dog, and other household chores can become problematic if they're not planned ahead of time.

• Address the issue of how often your relatives and friends are going to visit. Visits from family folks are always an issue -- even if you're not married.

Single mothers: Reasons for moving in with him

Before making any major life-changing dating decisions, you must first complete some deep soul searching to make sure that there aren't any regrets later on in life. If you have children, you've got to be even more cautious by fully understanding your shacking-up reasoning for both you and your children.

You genuinely want to get married to this man -- the whole shebang with the ring, the wedding, and the thank you notes.

In this case, don't move in with him until you're engaged, and it's close to the wedding date. Why? Because you want to show your children that you have respect for yourself, for him, for marriage, for family, and that there is structure in life.

You need male company.

Yes, it's the intimacy, but it's also being able to "decompress" with a grown-up at the end of the day over a glass of wine or dinner. In this case, move in with him after it's a "committed" relationship. You've dated exclusively for at least a year. You have a deal about monogamy. For whatever reason, you're not the marrying type. Why? Marriage isn't for everyone, and we live in a country where you are allowed to express your love for someone, their children, and yourself in many ways. Living together is one of them. A good tip is to keep a family therapist in the loop so that communication is facilitated and a professional oversees the children's best interests.

You're ecstatic about a new guy you're seeing, but your young kids haven't had a chance to get to know him yet.

In this case, it's best not to move in with him. Living with a man to whom you are not married, when you're raising offspring, can be irresponsible and emotionally harmful to your children. Before you decide to share living space with this great guy, you must consider all the relationships involved in your decision.

Financial burden reduction.

You're paying rent, he's paying rent. Why not reduce the rent? In this case, can you move in with him if certain conditions are met? Your fairy godmother may tell you that money is never a good reason to make an emotional or familial connection. Being a single mother in the U.S., however, is a largely unsupported (financially, legally, emotionally, socially, and in every other way) lifestyle. In this challenging situation, although it isn't traditionally accepted, it may be better for the children to have a mom who is less stressed and enjoys the company of a reliable and loving man she has loved for a long time, rather than living by principles that don't provide for childcare. However, please make sure that the children's best interests are first and foremost, and be honest with them. Don't lead them to believe that this is Mr. Right. Explain that you all love each other, and this will make life easier, making mom happier and more available for happy homework help, as well as more family nights without stress, etc. Kids are highly intuitive, and they will "get it."

Of course, never move in with anyone who is in any way abusive, has a history of any abuse, or presses any buttons for intuitive flashing yellows. That said, this can be an extraordinary situation, and often love grows on ground well tilled.

Single women: Working out yours, mine, and ours.

As people marry at older ages, they bring with them emotional baggage- and physical baggage! Anyone who marries after the age of 30 or 40 has "stuff" to accommodate. Sometimes that stuff is a few boxes of books and some clothes, but more than likely it's two sets of living room furniture, two beds, two sets of linens, two sets of kitchen supplies -- and more importantly, two sets of styles! Furnishings and objects filled with meaning and sentiment to one person might strike a new mate as candidates for the dump or the Goodwill, which leads into my tips for working this out in peace.

Dating tips for women: Making cohabitation fun and easy

a) Humor and the big picture.

Maintaining a sense of humor when deciding what to keep and what to discard is key. Remember, you don't want to make a piece of furniture -- or even two or three -- a deal breaker in the relationship. Being able to laugh and keep the big picture in mind will help a lot in accepting his giant television with nine different remote controls -- each of which performs 50 different functions -- and getting him to let you keep the antique chairs that look better than they feel.

Furnishings and objects filled with meaning and sentiment to one person might strike a new mate as candidates for the dump or Goodwill.

b) Bend a little.

Compromise is important. Test your deal-making skills and think creatively! Agree to keep his lime green recliner for 18 months, at which point you both buy one together and give the old one to a charity. Agree to keep your dishes and donate his in exchange for going on his heli-skiing trip with him and his mannerless friends for three years in a row as an out-of-the-box deal.

c) Nuclear options.

If you can't agree, and it's going to be a rocky road, consider agreeing to disagree and part ways. Hold a giant garage sale or tag sale at both your places on two consecutive weekends or the same weekend if you live nearby. You can even hire a company to manage the sale for you if you're too busy or emotionally attached to your belongings. Use all the money to start a "start over" fund and buy new stuff.