I supported my husband for 3 years. And he cheated and collected alimony from me!

Eva, a 38-year-old resident of New York, turned for advice on the issue of protection from alimony collected in favor of an incapacitated spouse. Our partner lawyer asked her to prepare a detailed account of her situation for our blog. Below is the problem according to Eva: "I'm tired, there's no work..." Three years ago, my life changed dramatically. One day, Macron, my husband, came with a look of utter despair, as if the world had collapsed. "I've been fired, Eva," he said.

At that time, I worked in a kindergarten as a teacher. The salary was low, but stable. I also did tutoring for preschoolers in the evenings and on weekends. We had a son, Michael, five years old, and two loans - one for a car, the second for repairs in the apartment. I hugged Macron and said that everything would get better, that he would find a job. I thought it was temporary. It turned out to be forever. He seems to be a man with hands and a head. He could build, weld, and drive a car from a truck to a bus. But recently I worked as a head of department in a municipal institution (in reality, just a supply manager with several subordinate workers) and wanted something the same, an office one. He explained that the age was 45. I didn't want something heavy. Lack of money... The first month, he was still trying. He went to interviews, came back angry, said that "there are only idiots everywhere" or "they need young people". And then it was blown away. He will go out in the evening for two hours by taxi, spend $5-10, and that's it, life is good. He sat on the sofa with his phone, flipped through some videos, and smoked one cigarette after another. I worked like hell. In the morning, to kindergarten, in the evening, part-time jobs. I came home with bags of groceries, my legs were buzzing, and he didn't even get up to help sort them out. - Eva, I'm tired. I went out for a few hours, then washed the car..." he said, taking a drag on his cigarette.

He's tired, you see. From what? From lying down? Or driving for a couple of hours? The money went nowhere. I paid for utilities, paid off loans, and bought clothes for Michael. He is growing, and he needs new shoes every six months. Macron spent only on himself: cigarettes, gasoline for the car, and some trifles like beer with friends. I was silent. I thought he was my husband, the father of my son; I needed to support him. Now he will recover and find himself.

You never know... Friends and relatives shook their heads disapprovingly. His friend even reprimanded him, saying, "Since you can't find yourself, go to the couriers. Taxi + courier. We have pretty decent money. Suspicions... Soon, I began to notice how he averted his eyes when I asked where he had been. It seems that he began to taxi more often, but there was no longer enough money even for his nonsense, so he began to beg from me. And even the phone started to lie forever with the screen down. I chased away thoughts of infidelity. Who needs him like that?! He is just lazy and suffers from nonsense. Maybe it's embarrassing. I carried everything on myself.

My hands were shaking when I received my salary on the card - I immediately calculated how much it would cover, and Michael once asked: "Mom, why doesn't Dad work like other dads?" And Macron, who heard the question, only snapped: "Don't meddle, little one, the adults will figure it out themselves," he muttered, not looking up from the phone. Last year, he began to complain about his back. In winter, I slipped (not quite sober), hit hard. They diagnosed a bruise, treated it, but the pain remained. A month later, it got worse. He went to the doctor's again. I drove him myself and paid for the tests myself. He was issued the third group of disability - something with the spine, you can work, but with restrictions. I thought, at least now he will come to his senses, find something sedentary, some kind of remote work. But no. He became even more impudent. "I'm sick, Eva, you have to support me," he said, and he disappeared for hours.

And then everything was revealed. I forgot to block my phone, went out to talk to my neighbor, and I reacted to endless messages. She was not shy about the scandal; she expressed everything that had been accumulating over the years. He was silent. Shook shoulders. And a week later, he filed a lawsuit. No, not for divorce. He filed for alimony against me. He said that I was obliged to support him, since he was disabled. He will also live here. The apartment is half the cost. Neither I nor he has any other housing. Even if we get divorced, I stood in the hallway, looking at him, at this stranger who had once promised me a family, and I couldn't believe it. "Are you serious, Macron?" I've been pulling for you for three years, and now you're stabbing me in the back? I clenched my fists, my voice trembling. "What's the matter, Eva?" I'm sick, you're healthy, according to the law," he grinned as if it were a joke. "Treason is irrelevant. Well, he cheated a little. Did you ever perceive me as a man? When... when he was a man! And that was a long time ago.

I filed for divorce. They refused to combine it into one case. We were divorced, and there was a court order on alimony a week ago. He was awarded alimony - $350 a month - from me, because "officially, he does not work, restrictions on employment." And I sat and thought: how could I be so mistaken? For three years, I lived with a traitor who not only betrayed me but also decided to finish me off. One thing please: he is at home for 2-3 days. He's hanging around somewhere, I don't care. He does not pay the mortgage. The apartment cannot be sold. After paying off the mortgage balance, there will not be enough money for anyone, not even for the simplest room. I want to spit on everything and file for bankruptcy, let the bank take everything... And I filed an appeal, which may allow us to cancel alimony or reduce it.