Save me, help me, I have fallen in love.

Online dating

Hello, "My Family"! I have no one else to tell this to. Acquaintances and relatives won't understand. About a year and a half ago, I met a guy online. He is single, about my age, lives in his own house with two dogs, and is a biker. We wrote to each other for six months. Then my dog died, and he expressed his condolences. He wrote something about another woman whose dog got sick, like I should empathize. I was outraged because I was in pain too. We had a little fight and didn't write to each other for six months. Then we started again; he sent me various funny pictures, and I sent some back. And in April, it was as if something struck me: I fell in love. He had some civil court cases; he wrote to me that he was busy. He asked me to work on his website while he was in court, which he had created. I looked for suitable materials online and sent them to him. It's not hard for me; it's even interesting. I don't understand why I'm feeling this way all of a sudden. Usually, I am rational; I explain everything logically and analyze everything, but I think of him as if intuitively. Or so it seems to me. I can wake up...

Long-distance relationship

In the middle of the night, I felt as though he had visited my dreams, or I was experiencing what was happening to him in real time. Moreover, dreams are so realistic, with emotions. I even felt that he was hugging me as if it were real. And there’s this wild longing... But we had nothing! We’ve never met, we live in different cities and even countries. We just text occasionally... But I can hardly sleep or eat, and I've lost three sizes. I bought a bicycle. I'm scared, but I ride to distract myself and cope with the stress. Otherwise, I'll just start drinking. For now, I'm riding in a nearby park, but it's getting better every day. I hope to get out soon. Damn it, it's hard for me, I'm old, it's too late for this, I don't want any of this! I don’t want to! What should I do? We hardly write anything to each other, just send pictures every day. A couple of weeks ago, he sent me a song that goes something like 'I don't want to fall in love, I don't want to think about you...'. And today, he liked a post that I shared on my page two days ago. He went there for some reason... I'm grabbing onto anything for hope.

I'm not coping anymore.

I went to church and prayed, 'Give me strength and resolve this situation.' Because I've been living like this for two months, and I'm tired! Just don’t think it's because I'm idle that I'm going crazy. I have plenty of things to do and very little free time. I recently did some repairs with my own awkward hands. It even turned out pretty well. I plan to visit my mom in a week. I’ll come back and start my new job immediately. If only my mind were occupied during all these tasks. But it's free. That's why I ride my bike, plaster walls, or buy tickets. I fell off my bike the other day, injured my leg, and now I walk limping, while my mind is free, and it's all thinking about him! That's the way it is. Perhaps someone can recommend an effective remedy to overcome this obsession?