The family get-together events during the national holiday celebration

You jumped at the chance to host a national holiday dinner -- you want everyone to see what a great new life you have together, and you want to show everyone you can put on a dinner that would make everyone proud. Then your guests show up, break a couple of wine glasses, insult your stuffing because it's not like Grandma's, and, because you forgot to turn on the oven, have to serve dinner two hours late because the national dishes aren't ready. It's enough to make you want to scream. In addition, scream you can, if that'll calm you down -- only you should probably first go to a far corner of the house and hold a pillow over your face. You have company! You don't want to make a scene, but if you can put the day in perspective and get your partner -- and your guests -- to help you out, you can probably avoid that screaming fit altogether.

Holiday dishes expectations

So why are the holidays so stressful to begin with? "Expectations and unresolved emotional issues - Stress and Less." Now, don't expect to become an expert in fixing everyone's childhood traumas. Managing your expectations will be much easier. Don't be too specific or too grand with your expectations. The number one priority is hosting a successful family event. It's not about the dishes. It's about family getting together. Even with conflict, it's worth the struggle."

There are ways to prevent conflict from escalating into a family feud. One central point of contention among families is tradition, especially when it comes to traditional foods. "Various kinds of food and having things the same were very important to my husband and his family. Unfortunately, nobody told her this ahead of time. She was so disappointed after cooking a meal that her husband's family didn't enjoy, she swore off hosting any national holiday dinner for good.

That was a long time ago, when she was 19. "As a young bride, I assumed that it would be fun to do everything," Anne says. "I didn't have others help out." Anne's a bit older and wiser now - she's 50- and seven years into her second marriage, she's finally taking on the challenge of hosting the national holiday dishes again—this time, with help.

Relatives are pitching in with the cooking, and she and her husband have agreed to let each other know when they need help during their event so they don't start feeling overwhelmed. They've also discussed how they want to welcome their guests and make everyone feel at home.