Living with a man is not beneficial for me.

The revelations of a 44-year-old woman after divorce."

I woke up on Sunday at nine in the morning. It was quiet in the kitchen, no one was asking for porridge, no one was shuffling in slippers, no one was waiting for me to put the kettle on, finally. I got up, made coffee, opened the window, sat down at the table, and suddenly realized: I am happy. Because I am alone. And you know, it wasn't about loneliness. It was about freedom."The story of Vera. 44 years old. I am 44. I divorced three years ago—two children — almost adults. I have a stable job and my apartment.

When my ex and I separated, many people told me:

 "You'll meet someone again," "You're so beautiful," "A man by your side brings confidence." I didn't argue then, I just remained silent. Because deep down, I had already begun to feel: living with a man is not beneficial for me. I was married for 14 years. Love, a wedding, a mortgage, and children. Just like everyone else. And very quickly, I felt that I was no longer a wife, a woman, a person, but a service staff. I worked as hard as he did, I got tired, I came home with bags, children, lists—but he would come home from work and lie down. Because "the man works, and the woman rests at home." I tried to talk. I asked, persuaded, wrote to-do lists—all in vain. He did not "see the point" in helping. He said, "You are a woman; you do it better." Then the children were born. And everything became so much harder. I was living on two shifts. The first office, the second kitchen, cleaning, lessons, treatments, kids' clubs, and parent chats. He—still the same: sofa, phone, beer, "let me rest, I'm tired." One time in a conversation with friends,

A friend said a phrase that I remember to this day:

"I have a golden wife—she carries everything herself." Yes, but not of her own volition. Because they left no choice, when we divorced, I felt both fear and confusion, and a strange sense of relief. And then—after a month or two—the realization came. For the first time, I was not burnt out. For the first time, I went to bed without anger. I no longer wash socks for an adult man who thinks it is my duty. I eat what I want. When I want to, and no one comments on my dinner, my money is mine, and my evening is mine. I stopped being "someone's wife" and returned to myself. And you know, I don't feel lonely. My friends have started to share similar feelings. And I realized — we are many of us. We are a generation of women who know how to earn, decide, and live. But we are still called marriage under the conditions of our grandmothers' times: you be good, you wash, you forgive, you cook, you give in. And he is a "man", for that, already thanks. One acquaintance honestly admitted, "I need a woman who is good at managing. And if she also earns, that's great. The main thing is that she doesn't whine." This is called not a "partner", but a "combine harvester in a skirt". Why are more and more women saying,

"Better alone"?

Because it has become more complicated with a man, and easier without one.  Because a modern woman works just like a man, but the domestic front is still hers. Because unfortunately, a husband often turns not into support but into another child who feels offended if he is not praised for taking out the trash. Because "helping" around the house does not equal "living together." It is called "a favor," not daily life. And women are tired. They are burned out. And they have simply stopped being willing to change their lives for someone else's laziness and infantilism.

The reasons why it is more comfortable for women to be alone today:

Finances. A woman spends less. There is no need to feed two people, carry shared debts, or pay for someone else's wants. Especially if a man thinks that his contribution is only work, while dinner, cleaning, and laundry are "not counted." Psycho-emotional comfort. Living alone means not being afraid of criticism, not walking on eggshells, not hearing that you "always complain" or "look the wrong way." It means peace, quiet, and recovery—freedom of interests. If you want to meet with friends, you just go. If you want to binge-watch a series with a blanket, go ahead. There is no need to consider someone else's opinion, adapt, or prove that "you are a person too.

" Physical exhaustion.

Household chores are a huge burden. And if you are not supported and only demanded of, you burn out. But alone, you simply do everything at your own pace. In their rhythm, without expectations and grievances. What happens to a man in such relationships? He loses his significance because he doesn't know how to be a partner. Because he sees a woman as a convenient function. Because he wants 'like mom', but with the right to intimacy. Because he is afraid of being useless, he pretends to be needed through reproaches. He does not mature; he shifts his burdens onto others. He does not grow in relationships, but pulls them down. And then he wonders: 'Why did you leave? I didn't do anything bad!' But there are good men! — you will say. Yes, there are. And it is a different matter with them. It's easy with them; it's truly together with them. But, alas, most people still live by past patterns. Where a woman is 'obligated'. Where care is 'condescension'. Where attention is a rarity, not a norm. So what does it mean?

Do women no longer need men?

No. Women do not need a third child. They do not need a person who lives at their expense, morally and domestically. They do not need someone who comes to a ready-made situation, but gives nothing in return. Women do not leave from...Of love, they leave from emptiness. From uselessness. From fatigue. Living alone is not about pride. It's about maturity. You choose yourself and your comfort, your freedom. And if there is a man nearby with whom you feel good, you will be with him. But if not, you simply don’t fill the emptiness with just anyone. A man, as a unit in a family, loses weight if he doesn't know how to be an adult. Suppose he can't be a support.

Suppose he doesn't listen or respect.

Then a woman, even if she loves, will leave because love is not an eternal sacrifice. But a choice. Mutual. What’s my conclusion? Living with a man is beneficial only in one case: if he doesn’t pull you down. Suppose he is there not because it's convenient. But because you are a value. Because he appreciates and cherishes. And everything else is just ballast, from which it’s time to free yourself.