What's important to you for a satisfying relationship?
Congratulations!
If you have taken the first step toward overcoming the single biggest problem people seeking a relationship face, namely, a lack of access to meeting quality new people. Now you face two essential tasks. You need to find the person with whom you would like to have a relationship. But you also have to prepare yourself for a successful relationship.
Studies of dating and relationships reveal that traits we often consider crucial, such as age, income, and educational level, are largely unrelated to the likelihood of finding a satisfying relationship. What matters is our perspective on life and the world.
People who build successful relationships believe they are capable and worthy of being valued. They are open-minded and willing to consider things from a new viewpoint. And they focus on their long-term future and needs. Just being on this site demonstrates that you possess these qualities.
Define yourself
When searching for a potential relationship, it's essential to define yourself and clearly articulate what you are looking for. Your long-term perspective will help. It turns out that most of the traits that attract people to each other —the things that excite us —no longer matter to us a few months after a relationship begins.
Instead, what sustains a relationship over time are respect, equality, friendship, and kindness. We know from studies of long-term relationships that successful individuals believe they are capable and worthy of value. Married couples often realize that what keeps their relationships strong is not high living or spectacular vacations, but the love they show on average days, expressed in average ways.
What does this mean when you are staring at an empty personals' box, trying to explain who you are and what you are looking for? You just have to tell your story. Tell the story that shows your capacity for friendship, for kindness, for respect, for love. Tell the story that shows what you value in another person. Tell your story, but leave room for a new happy ending.
