Reproductive violence and why it occurs
There is relatively little information about reproductive violence; if you refer to Wikipedia, you can find a concise description: Reproductive violence, contraceptive sabotage - an attempt by one sexual partner to interfere with the other’s efforts to prevent unwanted conception. Examples of contraceptive sabotage include replacing contraceptive pills with placebos, puncturing condoms, or simply threats and violence. However, reproductive violence is a more multifaceted concept. If we go in order, probably every woman of reproductive age has heard such phrases at least once in her life: 'the clock is ticking', 'once the baby is born, the pains will pass/a cycle will be corrected, and so on', 'it's time for grandchildren, I want to babysit'. If these phrases, which are rarely heard, usually don't affect you somehow, but sometimes they transition into a systematic form: Doctors constantly advise about having a child to 'cure diseases', the husband persuades you to give birth even though you are not ready.
At the same time, the parents dream of grandchildren and constantly talk to you about it. All of this is reproductive coercion. To avoid reproductive coercion from a partner, it is advisable to clearly state your position on this issue at the beginning of the relationship. Both men and women entering into relationships need to understand that if a person has explained from the outset that they do not plan to become a father or mother, and the other person wants that, then either they need to accept it or find another person who will also be happy about the arrival of a child. And correspondingly, both parties should take measures to protect against unwanted pregnancy. There is also reproductive violence at the state level. A woman of a certain age becomes 'elderly out of her period to bear children', although this definition is now hardly used. At the state level, in 2011, a law was introduced allowing women to terminate their pregnancy if they wish.
There is a seven-day "quiet time" and a two-day wait period after 11 weeks. For example, if a woman wants to have a medical abortion, she may run out of time because the law requires her to wait 7 days. There is also the concept of obstetric violence, which occurs very often in maternity hospitals shortly before childbirth. This includes unpleasant comments from medical staff and rude examinations. Unpleasant actions are also carried out by medical workers after the baby is born, such as pressing on the abdomen with full force, which is done to make the uterus contract more quickly. However, special injections are also given for this purpose. This is quite dangerous after a cesarean section, as it can result in bleeding for the woman. Fortunately, this trend in maternity hospitals has been declining in recent years. Reproductive violence can also refer to pressuring a woman into having an abortion. The decision is always up to the individual, except in cases where it would cause physical harm.
To physical health or rape. In other cases, we are all adults and no one can force us, unless it is 'under the barrel of a gun.' Some couples use the method of coitus interruptus as a form of contraception and even consider it a great way to prevent pregnancy. Science has provided evidence that this is not a method of contraception at all. By using this method, the couple is simply playing 'Russian roulette'; sadly, this reflects a poor upbringing within the family, where parents have failed to convey proper sexual education to their child. Alternatively, the couple may contemplate the potential birth of a child, and they are prepared for the child to be born using such a 'method of contraception.' Moreover, coitus interruptus is about a man's power over a woman. When we hear about any form of violence, most of us think that such things are impossible in our lives. And we wish that were true, but unfortunately, life often places us in entirely different circumstances, and no one is insured against such events.
No one. I will tell you about my personal experience of reproductive violence, just related to abortion. A little off topic, I will say right away, entering into the last relationship, I dreamed of a family with a person. I was already in my early thirties at the time of the beginning of the relationship, and so was my chosen one. Both were made-up personalities in career and financial terms. Well, with the same values at the beginning of the relationship discussed, including the fact that we both want children. The fact that the relationship did not continue further, my partner decided on his own, one day, to propose breaking up. What was the reason? I still do not know for sure. Two weeks later, I found out about the pregnancy and informed him after I accurately confirmed the pregnancy in a medical institution. This is where reproductive coercion on the part of the ex-boyfriend begins. And to some extent, it was also reproductive violence, because there was a discussion of a possible pregnancy, especially taking into account the chosen "method of protection".
How did such coercion turn out to be: a full-fledged offer of abortion, which, of course, he was ready to pay for, taking into account my term and age, there was no question of safety. Then there was a manipulation on my sense of guilt, that if I give birth, I will ruin his and the child's life, proving to me that abortion is safe for my health. The child is a clot of cells. Then he told me how he wanted a child with an ex-girlfriend, but it did not work out, and it turned out that something was wrong with me. I am a real sadist since I want a child. At that time, there was no question that he would support me financially or in some other way if I decided to keep the child. It was necessary to think about whom to enter into a relationship with. Many people might say that, and of course, the blame will be solely on the woman for her choice. And suppose a man does not want to. In that case, he does everything so that the woman does not get pregnant or does not sleep with this particular woman, if he wants to completely exclude possible conception, because, as you know, 100% of the methods of contraception have not yet been invented.
We all must understand that both partners are participants in the sexual act and therefore should bear equal responsibility for what happens. It sounds particularly ridiculous when a man consciously engages in unprotected sex with his partner and then says 'I didn't want to,' as if he were not fully aware during the act. No one has the right to decide for a woman whether she should give birth or not. The result of any reproductive violence and pressure can be a damaged life for the child or the woman who showed weakness and went for an abortion, or gave birth to an unwanted child. The first can lead to endless regret, health problems, and possible infertility, while the second can cause the woman never to become a true mother to her child.
In our country, there are already a large number of children growing up in incomplete families, and very often, men leave women when they find out about a pregnancy and do not even bother to fulfill their obligation to pay child support for their child. What is the leading cause of reproductive violence? If we discard the influence of relatives, medical institutions, and the state, the main reproductive violence occurs between partners. And this is closely related to domestic violence. A man, sabotaging contraception, deliberately refusing to wear a condom, justifying himself by saying that "the sensations are not the same" or "it's like smelling a rose in a gas mask," or insisting on the method of interrupted sexual activity, exercises power over the female body.
The rapist thereby forces the woman to conceive, and then to have an abortion; sometimes, such stories end deplorably. Suppose a woman refuses to have an abortion. In that case, a rapist can use physical force by hitting her in the stomach, throwing her down the stairs, and, unfortunately, such stories happen, and those who have experienced this with all their might want to forget about it. Forcibly forcing a woman to get pregnant allows a man to bind her to him even more, thereby having a greater impact on her life. A man can remove a condom during sexual intercourse without his partner's knowledge or stop her partner or just start sex without protection, when a woman is sleeping, which by definition is already rape, only one that cannot be proven, usually, because no one will believe.
Especially when this happens in the law of marriage, for such men, reproductive violence is the highest control over a woman. A man thereby controls her body, physical and psychological health. A seemingly "decent guy" may well "forget" to put on a condom, justifying himself with passion and his carelessness, or persuade himself that he will be able to "get out" in time, telling how the sensations will be much brighter and more pleasant. And such a "decent guy" and a domestic abuser are on the same level of reproductive violence against a woman. Pregnancy should have only equal responsibility, and a man should understand that if he is careless in the matter of contraception, his task is to accept any decision of a woman to preserve or terminate the pregnancy. Bear the same responsibility for this. The worst thing is that some women justify men's reproductive violence by placing the whole blame on women. As a result, people support violence and irresponsibility, and perpetuate a cycle of such stories.
