Why don't we talk about 'THIS'
What to do if your libido is different? 5 tips to ensure everyone is satisfied. We don't talk about sex because no one taught us about it. We were instilled with the belief that sex is bad and sinful, that it is inappropriate because silence is safer. Karine E. Weiss, an experienced sexologist and educator, wrote that "communication is an eternal dialogue between partners, and each person is 100% responsible for their participation in this process."You must remember that heartfelt conversations are our shared responsibility and participation in the continuous development of both partners. It's not enough to say something once - we are constantly changing, so we need to communicate regularly. Losing contact leads to a loss of intimacy and boredom, and consequently to a direct path to suppression or even the extinction of passion. Long breaks in intimate relationships are dangerous for relationships, so if they do occur, it is advisable to quickly identify the problem, name it, and indicate that it is a joint effort between partners.
Sexologist:
If you want strong potency, never touch it with your hands. Reasons for shame. The first group of blocks that appears in the therapy room is related to vocabulary. A person may resort to vulgarity or childishness when discussing sexuality due to fear of judgment. In such a situation, it is recommended first to eliminate language barriers. This greatly helps in creating your code, individual terms for intimate body parts and sexual activity, as well as introducing symbols or gestures that can only be understood by couples. It is essential not to take this too seriously—the second group of prohibitions - emotional blocks. Sometimes, when talking with a therapist, a woman remembers the first months or years of the relationship when they spent a lot of time in bed with their partner, walking around the house naked, and having passionate sex. At that time, nudity was not a problem, but now the woman feels ashamed of it. In the beginning, it is always easier to talk, to love, and to trust.
But the longer a relationship lasts, the harder it becomes to talk about sex. Love begins to be accompanied by a need for safety and stability, which breeds shame or fear, whereas they weren't present before. It would be good to reflect on what these overwhelming emotions mean, to work through the causes, and to contemplate in solitude. Previous experiences and beliefs related to sexuality can also interfere. Everything you have experienced deprives you of the ability or desire to take action. Every person wants to be approached with respect and expects a similar approach from their partner. A lack of attention to one's partner's actions and actions that a person rejects may prompt one to postpone this issue for a while. Prohibitions stem from beliefs about sexuality, femininity and masculinity, corporeality, about what you have and what you lack. All of this comes from attitudes received at home.
Such attitudes can include the following:
'A woman should respect herself, virginity is the greatest treasure,' or 'a woman is a nursing mother, and it is unacceptable to engage in passionate sex with her." In the first two cases, the messages limit the sexual freedom and self-expression of women, suppressing or pushing aside their libido. In the last case, projecting the need for care onto a partner hinders sexual exploration in relationships: a wife can be loved, but fantasies need to be realized with a mistress or a prostitute. This is the remedy! It will save potency even at 70 years old. It is sold in every pharmacy,
If something is enjoyable, we say: five, if unpleasant: zero.
The right to "no." It is important to remember that you are not obliged to accept all of your partner's proposals, as everyone has the right to choose whether or not to take something. The key is not in the refusal itself, but in its form, which is respectful and does not cross boundaries. In any case, refusal does not necessarily have to be verbal; the body sends signals on its own – if a partner pushes away their head or hand from the designated place three times, this should be a clear signal for them. Refusal should also not be expressed with the word 'no' - you can use a pleasure scale from 0 to 5 (if something is enjoyable, we say: five, if unpleasant: zero) or agree that a particular word means 'stop'. Effective communication requires considering whether the source of difficulties in discussing your needs and desires is a lack of communication or fear of the partner's reaction.
In the first case, creativity can help.
You could write a letter together or watch a movie on this topic and talk about it. It would be good to find an alternative, more straightforward way of communicating - a shared inbox just for 'those' questions could be the solution. However, if you fear the partner's reaction, the problem may be more serious. It is worth starting by analyzing what exactly the fear is: fear of rejection or fear of judgment? Such a conversation is usually the hardest to initiate, so it would be a good idea to agree that something is wrong and you need to talk about it. This could be a bottle of wine placed on the table in the evening or a favorite chocolate candy. This often helps break the silence, because this topic seems awkward. And the other person responds to the signal sent with a desire to talk at a convenient moment. You need to try to speak as much as possible - in bed, in an intimate setting, with a glass of wine, after all, through messages. Your entire sex life can be a playground where you enter and play. And it doesn't necessarily have to be erotic games. It's about creating your sexual world and deriving joy and pleasure from it.
